stages.

The feeling that comes with finding out that you have been betrayed by someone you love is a feeling that is hard to describe, not because of the pain or the unavoidable feeling of stupidity, but because at that moment, the moment that you realize you have lost a confidante, you've lost trust, you become lost; at a loss of words, of footing, security, and faith. Moments run through your mind; you try to pin point the first moment that you should have known that something was a skew. Deep breaths: in through the nose, out through the mouth. You know this isn't your fault, or at least you try to believe that there is some truth in that. Did you do something to trigger these events? Is there something that you could have done so that your fairy tale, your idea of the way things should be, your dream, could have continued down the path that you had fantasized out of hope and lust?


You sit and you think, letting your mind travel around and in circles, trying to find the answers or just one answer, something to make you feel some comfort. Right now you feel empty and you crave to feel whole again. You don't want to believe that the truths that have been uncovered are real. You pray for some kind of justification, some reasoning, a legitimate excuse that proves that things really are not as they seem. You want to know why you are find yourself standing where you stand, feeling crushed beyond repair. You ask yourself 'why?' You search for excuses; hoping, wishing, praying. Your frustration sets in and you can't help but focus on the wrenching pain that you have been infested with. Though, as time passes, wounds heal. Time gives us space to breath, distancing us from that initial shock of betrayal and we lead into a future of new beginnings and opportunity, giving us a second chance. We learn to accept the wrongs that are done onto us, embracing the lesson and moving on to greater things, better people,  and more life lessons.