I am a list person, meaning that I enjoy lists. I make grocery lists, mental lists, and to do lists. Sometimes I add a task to a to do list even though I have already completed it, just for the satisfactory feeling of writing a check mark beside it; a sense of accomplishment.
I am a person of organization; however, I am not naturally very good at appointments, meetings, showing up on time without the good help of an agenda. This fact is a result of my inability to leave my home without having to return to grab one more thing. I like itineraries and agendas, planning out my method of approach, my plan of attack on life itself. Having an agenda helps me feel at ease. I know that if there is something I need to do, it will be there. I know this because my mind is obsessed with reminding me to look at my agenda, to write things down, to keep a memo pad of thoughts and ideas, just simply for the self-satisfactory feeling of knowing that everything is where it is supposed to be.
I am the person that keeps the little seemingly insignificant things 'just in case' they become of use in the future or of some value, whether that be superficial, personal, or sentimental, I tend to be able to rationalize the value of silly little things: safety pins, elastics, bread clips, buttons, beads, jewelery (that I know that I will never wear), clothing (that should have been torched years ago), and books (that I wish I'd read but don't desire their story enough to actually sit through all of the pages).
If I'm really angry I usually cannot resist a smirk or smile, which has to do with my ability to see the odd humor in life, such as the "why Me's" of life. If I am really upset I think and I overthink. My words flow fast and steady and can sometimes be followed by tears.
I cry from frustration and out of amazement. When I find out that I have been lied to or betrayed, I cannot help but feel disappointed; I often take it personally.
When I learn of negative things about people that I care about, I often find a way to sympathise. I truly think that when people do bad things there is always a reason; something that led them to that decision. I have a hard time accepting or believing that people can be naturally bad or evil. I do not understand malicious behavior. I've tried. However, I do believe that it is each persons' duty to take responsibility for the actions that they chose to take throughout their life, along with the impact that those actions have on others.
I cry from frustration and out of amazement. When I find out that I have been lied to or betrayed, I cannot help but feel disappointed; I often take it personally.
When I learn of negative things about people that I care about, I often find a way to sympathise. I truly think that when people do bad things there is always a reason; something that led them to that decision. I have a hard time accepting or believing that people can be naturally bad or evil. I do not understand malicious behavior. I've tried. However, I do believe that it is each persons' duty to take responsibility for the actions that they chose to take throughout their life, along with the impact that those actions have on others.
I am a person of my own opinion; however, I do enjoy listening to the opinions of others and trying to understand their reasoning. I like stimulating discussions, conversations with some bulk. I like asking questions in order to understand things better. I enjoy learning; I think that this helps me develop my own sense of self. The better that I can understand the world around me, the better that I will be able to know myself. I talk a lot and I am very bad for never finishing a story that I started to tell, jumping from one subject to the next, I generally loop around back to the initial reason for a conversation, but this barely ever happens within enough time for the other person to still be interested in the conversation's origin.
I like to eat and do not mind spending money on good food; however, I also eat some things simply because I know that they are good for me, even if it means cringing through the experience. I do not like to go out to franchised restaurants or to go out for food that I can cook myself. Going out for food should be a treat, if I can cook it myself it isn't a treat. I love to cook and come up with my own delicious creations; when I find out that someone is lacking talent in the kitchen and has no desire to learn - I judge them, not because I think that my abilities make me a better person, but simply because I cannot imagine depending on someone else to make me a good meal.
I am an independent person. I have never been someone who plays team sports. I don't like the feeling of being out of control. I do not like depending on other people when I have a goal in sight. I don't like handouts and it is not often that I will ask for help or accept it. I like to be that person that people talk to, that people go to for advice, someone who people feel they can approach if they ever need someone to be their for them. I don't believe that anyone should ever feel alone or without options; that is a scary place to be in.
I believe in kindness, generosity, selfless acts of kindness, treating people like human beings - because that is what they are. I think that it is important to be true to reality, true to yourself, true to life and its unpredictability. I also think that sometimes this is the hardest things to ask of you or those around you, but that it is never something that should looked past.
At the end of the day the truth is all that we have, all that there is, and all that we will ever have to live with is the truth, even if we do not know it. Even if we do not know it there is someone else that does, or our subconscious is already on its way to figuring out.
At the end of the day the truth is all that we have, all that there is, and all that we will ever have to live with is the truth, even if we do not know it. Even if we do not know it there is someone else that does, or our subconscious is already on its way to figuring out.
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