I am not someone who takes goodbyes with great ease. I fear them. I hate them and dread them. Every year people come into our lives and every year people leave. People move away, people grow apart. We meet people and with some we become acquainted with them, with who they are. We get to know each other, stories from our past, dreams for our futures, we make an impression on each other. We divulge little details and the little quirks that make us who we are. We share our life experiences, opening our selves up for judgement, letting someone else in and letting them get to know the person that is beyond the surface. We create bonds. We create relationships, friendship. We form an impression of other people and sometimes we meet people who really touch us, who really have an impact on us, and we grow to care for them.
We care for their well being, we care about where they have come from, what they have gone through, their dreams and that they achieve them. We care that they are happy and that they are successful. I suppose that is why it is hard for me to say goodbye to a friend. Especially at my age where a lot of my friends are moving on to other things - master's programs, teachers college, careers that take them to the other side of the globe. They are moving onto the next part of their life.
With my friends around me it is easier to hear about the good things, hear about what is new, what they're accomplishing, and what they hope for the future to hold. When we say goodbye, I feel at a loss. I think that it is because I care.
I care that when a friend leaves, they will be happy with where they end up. I want them to be successful and find the happiness that they are looking for in their life. And of course, there is that other part of me that wishes they did not have to leave, because they add a little extra happiness to my day and weeks, to my time in this city, and I wish that they could stay and find all that they need here - I wish that we could just avoid 'goodbye.'
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