these photographs.

There was a time when I would look through these memories that were so carefully captured, downloaded and organized, with hopes to one day put them into a fancy photo album; this collection of memories would one day be presented to our loved ones, sharing with them the journey that we had taken, the story of our lives together, our love story. 
Then came a time when I would do this same act, searching through these very same folders looking for an image that would make me laugh, make me smile, but sadness was all that I felt. Having these memories printed was no longer on my list of things to do, these images no longer deserved to be printed and bounded, nor shared with anyone. It was rare that I would find a photo that made my heart tingle, bringing back a warm memory into my mind, one for me to savor until that sense of happiness dwindled away as I was brought back to my own reality, one where I was trying to let go and move on. 

These photographs captured some of the most profound moments of my young life, but looking at them only made my sadness feel more real. I couldn't help but mourn the fact that I would be making new memories now, new memories that would build my individual self, leaving that part of my life behind.
Today, I look through these same photographs with a smile on my face. There is a strength in me where my uncertainty use to sit. I feel a warmth, a nostalgia fill my veins. I graze through these folders that contain captured moments that I cherish for having experienced but that almost make me giddy because today I know I do not need them. With each click I watch as the images disappear. Folder by folder, I look through these photographs: the years, the seasons, the parties, the vacations. These files contain captured moments from the years that we spent together, the years that we loved each other- all memories, a thing of my past. 
I have experienced a change in myself, one that I had wished for but was never sure I would achieve. So today I click, selecting each photo that contains a reminder of you, a reminder of us, of what we had, pressing a button and watching it disappear. I cannot help but feel happy. Free.